Sunday, May 30, 2004

The Kid won the Giro

At the end of a true three week Italian soap opera, the Giro d'Italia went to 22 year old Damiano Cunego. What a turn up for the books! The Kid beat his team captain and two-time(ing) Giro winner Gilberto Simoni, who it has to be said wasn't all that happy about it. Gibo ended up third behind The Kid and Serguei/Serhei/Serhiy/Serge Gonchar/Honchar/Hontchar/Gontchar/Gontsjar/Suit. My knowledge of Ukrainian/Russian transliteration has taken a big leap as you can see. Officially it's Serhei Honchar but I think he's actually of Russian ethnicity and prefers spelling it Gonchar, no matter what the Ukrainian government says.

Back to the soap. In Stage 19, Gibo made a pact with the Devil, a.k.a. Stefano Garzelli, who's on a different team, and the pair attacked on the first climb of the day and effectively isolated The Kid. Gibo needed 3'07 lead over Cunego to win the Giro but luckily for The Kid, G(H)on(t)char worked his arse off to save his second place, so Gibo only ended up gaining 50 seconds. And Garzelli won the stage anyway so poor ol' Gibo got flicked for both the stage win *and* the GC. But he called Cunego a bastard after Stage 18 so he probably deserved it.

It was fun watching all the drama unfold at the end. It made it the least boring Giro for a few years. Still a whole lotta work voor mij en de hele gang.

By the way, the Vittoria Open Corsa CX that I so wisely invested in the other day blew off the rim on Saturday. Oops. Not a good start. I did put 130 psi in it so that was probably a bit much. I'll stick with 23 psi from now on. It rained today. Why does it rain on Sunday?

It's another public holiday tomorrow so I'll race in Bottelare. Hopefully no punctures this time!

Alas, my chocolate icecream investment venture has ended in disaster after all the stocks mysteriously devalued and completely vanished from the fridge. It must be that rat or possum. I will set an even more cunning trap tomorrow after I have replenished the stores. The same thing happened with the vanilla icecream that I bought to replace the chocolate. Strange. There are Evil Forces at work in my fridge. Anyone who has seen it will know what I mean.

I have learned many things this week, aside from Ukrainian/Russian transliteration but I'm too tired now to zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.......

Thursday, May 27, 2004

Invest now while stocks last

I have made several valuable investments in the past week, in order to guarantee my future in this world. The first one was in a packet of brazil nuts, which as we all know are very high in selenium. I am now in no danger whatsover of being selenium deficient, so I regard this as a highly valuable investment. And I've still got half of the packet of brazil nuts left. Quelle miracle.

Speaking of food, I had to make a rather hasty investment in some chocolate ice cream today, as my stocks had mysteriously run empty, despite having been renewed a mere TWO DAYS AGO. Probably a rat or a possum. I've set up a cunning rat trap near the fridge consisting of a bowl with a spoon resting inside the bowl. The unsuspecting rat will open the freezer, scoop out a chunk of dark chocolate ice cream and scoff the lot. In the morning, I'll be able to tell which rat it was because one will be fatter than the others. Cunning, eh? I'm quite proud of this trap and have submitted it to the Gent Rat Traps Patent Board, Pty. Ltd.

In the non-food dept., I was forced to splurge, er, invest in a Vittoria Corsa CX Open Tubular, due to the fact that my trusty Maxxis Columbiere (sic) is past its use by date. Must have clocked up about 4-5015 km on the thing, and I should have...retired it before yesterday's race in Bredene (near Oostende). It was a nice easy 7.8 km course, very fast, and I felt quite good, but unfortunately I hit a rock or something on the second lap and it was all over. Dang. Rode 65 km home so I least I didn't waste the day. I'll try again in Bottelare, which is quite close to Gent, next Monday.

While investing in the Vittoria Corsa CX Open Tubular, I decided to pick up a pair of Pearl Izumi bib knicks. I've heard good things about PI, so we'll see how long they last. My Campag Techno and my Bergamo knicks (both freebies) are in fairly good condition, but my other pairs are wearing a tad too thin.

Giro news. Three days to go and it's still not decided. The Kid, a.k.a. Damiano Cunego, took the lead in Stage 16 from Popovych with an absolutely brilliant move with 60 km to go. His team captain Gibo Simoni, who is scripted to win the Giro, had to play second fiddle again. Gibo has two stages to show the young upstart who's boss, but I don't think Cunego will let him get away with it.

Today it was the Russian AK47, Pavel Tonkov, who mowed everyone down and really stuck it to them. His victory salute was the first time I've seen anyone use a rude gesture when they've won a big stage. Tonkov had a few paybacks to make today.

Movie watch: I invested in a ticket to see Starksy and Hutch the other week. My expectations weren't great (but I did have them) and they were met by this piece of celluloid. It was amusing. It probably would have been more amusing if a) I hadn't seen the trailer giving away the best bits and b) I'd seen the original show at least once. Good for a laugh.

After the Giro I might actually fiddle around with this Bilgespot template. I'll add a golf links on the left hand side, which means I can duck out during lunchtime and scare a few birds with the pitching wedge. The golf links will in no way be related to the past/present/future conflagration in Iraq.

That reminds me, it's google time: Golf. Audi. Shouldn't there be five rings? Olympics. Athens. Marathon. Troy. Achilles (why didn't they let go of his foot anyway?). Styx. Anywhere north, west or south of Paramatta. Please note the Greek context.

Tot volgende keer,
Jeff

Sunday, May 23, 2004

Thoughts I

There's a lot happening in May. Allez Chavanel, Lance, Jensy, Petacchi & Popovych enzovoort. Nog zes etappen in de Giro en dan...iets verlichting. Why am I writing in single Dutch? Something to do with tiredness.

This morning: 6:40 am start. Why? To meet the bunch in Berchem. Even a cup of coffee and a cup of tea did nothing to wake me up and I was asleep for the first 60km (and also the last 40km coming home). Luckily it's generally a straight line coming back. I woke up in the middle bit in order to avoid a repeat of last week. THIS time there was no red-lining it for 20 minutes, merely an acceleration or two on the final climbs, always within my limits. Stayed with the kopgroep fairly comfortably today. Did I mention it rained all the way out and all the way back? No? Well it did. The light motregen that Belgium is famous for. Like water for chocolate. That damned north wind.

Had a kip on the couch following the Giro stage and then assumed the position for the rest of the evening in front of the keyboard. As I said, there's a lot happening in May. I'm resultsed out. At least it's mindless.

A note on Saturday: 35 km/h average on the Trap Op (3km at 2.7%). Roughly 400-420W for 5'10 for whoever was in front. Oooowww. And I was sitting on!

A blogservation

People, please consider your dear reader at least a little bit when you create your blog. None of this brown writing on black background with faded image crapola. Or puce on pink with a floral splash and gold curlicues around the edges. IT'S BLOODY HARD TO READ.

I know most stuff, especially what I write here, isn't worth reading anyway, but at least give us a fighting chance. What's wrong with DARK letters on a WHITE background. Black and white co-existing peacefully, no apartheid. See, it can work? Why am I ranting like this? Because it's 14 minutes past 1am and I don't care. Normally I would write it as 1:14am.

To finish with, some keywords for google to pick up: George W Bush fell off his bike today. What a goose! Cannot find weapons of mass destruction. Iraq. Saddam. King Hussein of Michael Jordan. Just Do It. Nike. Lance. Guineviere. The Knights who say Ni. Elderberries. Hamster. Smiley, Ace of Spies. Bet no-one will google all that.

Ik slap.

Friday, May 21, 2004

Destelbergen

Well due to the fact that it was Hemelvaart (Ascension) today, there were no shops open so I couldn't buy any chocolate ice cream. Instead, being the heathen I am, I decided to race out at Destelbergen, which is 10 km from my place. I did this race last year and finished it ok as it's a fairly fast course (14 x 8.3 km laps) so why not have another go?

Why not indeed, although timing was fairly crucial today as I had to do a lot of work: news this morning plus almost six hours of results/pics posting this evening. And of course a blog update :-) Speaking of pics, scroll down the page to the Ultimate Bike Racing Experience or have a look at it here as I've added some pics from that crazy, freezing, sickness inducing race in the rain in Hooglede. Thanks to CN's occasional Japanese correspondent Miwako of course!

It was a beautifully warm day today with a moderate breeze blowing, so I was surprised that there were only 63 starters. It seemed like more than that but it always does. I think there were 90-odd last year, and that helps make the race a bit quicker and more free flowing. Fewer starters can mean a really tough race at the beginning, and I got sucked into chasing several moves on the first lap, until I forced myself to go to the back because my HR was sitting in the mid-180's (max is about 190). The mind was willing but the flesh was weak. I don't think I could keep that up all day. Even sitting in the bunch I was often in the red zone (averaged 172 for the race = two and three quarter hours), so I'm not quite back to full operational capacity after the dreaded lurgi and/or spon last week.


HRM graph for the race in Destelbergen. Ouch.

So from somewhere near the back (again) I watched the race play out. A group of 12 had gotten away and had 50 seconds lead after about 5 laps, so I thought it was all over, as our bunch didn't look as if it was really up to it. Thus I was surprised when a few guys in yellow and red drove it for about 3 laps to get the leaders back to 15 seconds. A concerted chase rarely happens in a kermesse. It's normally just attack, attack, attack.

When we got close, the bunch blew apart as various riders tried to get across to the front. I was already starting to feel the twinges of cramp - I was a bit dehydrated apart from being out of condition today - so I did what I could and ended up in a third group chasing about 20. Our group didn't work particularly well and that was a source of annoyance to one of the other Aussies in it. Actually there were three of us, all riding for different teams but all cooperating perfectly due to nationality :-) It didn't matter that they had teammates in the break(s)!

So it went on. In the last 40 km I must have gone with 80 percent of the moves and did a lot of work in front, which was good training. But if we had six guys - including the two Aussies - at least two of them would sit on and the break just wouldn't go. It's totally illogical and doesn't get you a top place, but that's how they race here so I have come to accept it in a Zen-like manner. Calm blue ocean.

Attacked on the last lap in pursuit of 4 guys (see flat bit of HRM curve at 180+ near the end - my feet cramped then) but the bunch regrouped in twos and threes. That was bloody hard.

We ended up sprinting for 21st and although I moved up to about 5th wheel with 100m to go before the last corner, I cramped in both legs and couldn't do anything but go backwards. Ended up somewhere between 35th and 40th but I finished, which was the object of the exercise. 116 km in 2:45 @ 42.3 km/h. That's three outta three races so far that I've completed with the bunch so I gotta be happy with that.

No bike problems today. Woo hoo!

Sickness update: sore throat is still extant, but I got some nasal spray which I seem to remember fixed it last year. If your nose is infected it doesn't actually hurt but instead it irritates your throat. Cool, huh? I could be a doctor. Let us first see if this self-diagnosis is on the money.

A bientot,
Jeff

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

It's Giro rest day

It's Giro rest day and that is a good thing. It's always fairly manic getting through the first 10 days, especially with all the other races on in May. Why does every man and his dog hold races now? Something to do with the sun I guess.

Speaking of sun, it has been ridiculously good weather in Belgiƫ for the last couple of days. Yesterday was 27 and today was 23-24 degrees, sunny and almost zero wind. Of course I went out for rides both days, although I took it very easy on Monday after the weekend's exertions. Today (Tuesday) I'd normally do 150-160 km, but cut it down to 135 km as I didn't want to go completely overboard, despite the fact that I'm feeling a lot more over the weather. Still a slight sore throat, but the dry cough has all but disappeared and my heart rate has dropped another 10 beats and is getting down into normal territory.

Extremely tedious description of a training ride follows

Today I thought I'd cruise out with the bunch along the Schelde to Oudenaarde and back, then do a bit extra in the hills. I didn't plan on doing much at the front though! We normally take it a bit easy going out, but today there were three guys who decided to take off before halfway, and that led to a slight increase in pace. They had about a minute at the turnaround, and there was a Palmans U23 rider in the bunch who saw that two of his mates were in the break, so he took it upon himself to chase them down. Verily, a noble fellow.

If you look closely at the HRM graph (I'll try to get these sharper), you'll note that the speed suddenly increased at the 17 km mark. This Palmans guy was on the front for 5 km, doing between 45 and 50 km/h with a very, very light tailwind. Jeez. Needless to say, the break was brought back. Then he proceeded to continually attack us all the way back to Gent. Attacking is normal, as this part of the ride is considered a race. I was - from a distance - impressed by his persistence.

Click for larger version
HRM/speed/altitude graph for May 18

He was toying with us, but it kept the speed quite high and we averaged 44.2 km/h coming back, which is not bad. Towards the end, he had a bit of a gap with a couple of other guys, so I broke my pledge of not doing any work and pulled what was left of the bunch up to him at 50 km/h. My turn was pretty short :-) You see, you can't let these young 'uns beat you.

That was about 1.5 km from the "sprint", so I dropped back to try and recover, found a wheel and stuck to it. It's always a long leadout with no real aim but to go fast, and we slowly edged it up from 50 to 55 km/h with a few hundred metres to go. Most of the riders in front of me had spent their bikkies doing this, so I ended up in about fourth wheel. And there I stayed, because when I got out of the saddle to try and produce more power/speed, I went nowhere.

If I could extract another 9 km/h and a ridculously large number of watts, then I could beat Petacchi, who has so far won 4 Giro stages and was clocked at 64 km/h coming across the line the other day. What a dude.

As always, this is good training for bunch sprints, and I think I should be back to where I was before by next week. Want to race on Thursday on Hemelvaart (Ascension Day) in Destelbergen, so didn't want to overcook it today. I did three more hills afterwards and cruised back along the Schelde at 36-37 km/h, feeling like I was doing a normal training ride.

Well, that's my ride for the day in detail. This posting is for my benefit more than anyone else's, so I make no apologies for being mind-numbingly boring. I will post some more interesting, non-bike related stuff, but not now.

Tot volgende keer.

Sick

This entry is in Real Time (tm) because I've now more or less caught up with the previous updates that I wanted to include on this bilgestripe. But as we all know, time is an illusion and can sometimes move in a mysterious way. Enough of 't preamble.

Possibly as a result of the Ultimate Bike Racing experience less than two weeks ago in the freezing cold in Hooglede, I got sick. Fancy that. I wonder how that could have happened? I always cease to amaze myself.

So Tuesday (May 4) I raced (in the wet), then again on Thursday (in the dry, very fast) and by Saturday I was feeling a bit under the weather, which was not surprising as it was wet and I did three hours by myself. The weather was very much on top.

On Sunday I woke up feeling very poorly so I skipped the really early morning ride in favour of another session on the Schelde. 120km compared to 160km. Vive le difference. Of course I went much harder than I intended and by Sunday night things weren't lookin' too hot on the sore throat/headache front. I did an easy ride on Monday before visiting the doctor who told me I was sick and that would be €36. Then I had to traipse around Gent to find a night chemist and get him to sell me some sinutabs + lidocaine lollies which didn't taste so good.

The rest of the week was a write off, but I cracked and went out for a ride with the bunch on Saturday and Sunday. Bloody hell, four days off plus a virus and sinutabs saw me dangling on the back with my HR at 15-20 beats higher than normal. Sunday was just as bad, except towards the end of the ride there was no bunch and I had to drop off the kopgroep on one of the last climbs, only to spend the next 20 minutes at the wrong end of the red zone trying to chase the two leaders. It felt weird to be going that hard - even in the races a couple of weeks ago I wasn't sustaining that kind of HR for that long.

Didn't get 'em of course.

Click for larger image
Heart rate/speed/altitude graph for Sunday

Now the headache has gone but I have the good ol' dry cough that follows a cold and will hang around for the next few weeks, no matter what I do or have done (I know this from past experience). Maybe I'll get some more stuff for it. I'm going to avoid anything with pseudoephedrine in it from now on, a) because it's banned in cycling and b) if it raises my heartrate by that much then I don't think it's a good thing. Boom-bity-boom-bity-boom-bity-boom-bity-boom-bity-boom-bity-boom-boom-boom.

I think I need sleep.

Jeff's Ultimate Bike Racing Experience (tm)

ALERT! Your Norton anti-virus checker has detected a whole lotta garbage about a bike race in the following email. It has been quarantined for your safety. Except this bit, which probably shoulda been:

Jeff's Ultimate Bike Racing Experience (tm)

It's not that easy to describe, and it didn't have anything to do with winning - which is not the primary reason I race a bike anyway. But today I believe I had the Ultimate Bike Racing Experience (tm).

Background: I got my first ever Belgian racing licence last week, and was very chuffed with it. It's about a tenth the price of an Aussie one, because the insurance isn't totally ridiculous. As I have a permanent address here, it makes sense for me to have a Belgian licence. As soon as I got it, I was plotting what races I could do in the rather short space of time between now and the Giro d'Italia, which starts on Saturday.

I selected one in Hooglede in West Flanders, mainly because it was the only one remotely in my area (50 km hence) and it also corresponded with my Day Off. Coincidentally, two Japanese journalist friends of mine - Miwako and Junko - live in Hooglede, so I let them know and they came out and provided Official Encouragement, which was tres cool and quite funny.

I had a cursory look at the weather forecast this morning and it didn't seem too bad: some rain, clearing in the afternoon with strong winds from the SSW. After several weeks of fantastic weather here (15-20+ degrees, sun, not too much wind), I was lulled into a false sense of optimism about today. I should know better. At least I packed a woollen jersey and arm warmers just in case...

As I got on the train from Gent to Lichtervelde, the first drops of rain began to fall, and by the time we got to Deinze it was blowing a gale and raining more or less horizontally. Completely deterred, I remained on the train to Lichtervelde, which was about 8 km from Hooglede. Fastening my cycling shoes, I merrily set off into the driving rain/block headwind and amazingly didn't get lost, just somewhat frozen. Sign on was at the Cafe Lanterne in Ieperstraat, which was at least warm inside. I took number 76, which surprised me as I didn't expect that there would be so many other loonies lining up to race when it was 8 degrees, wet, with a rather significant wind chill factor.

This strange fact can be explained. a) This is Belgium - more specifically West Flanders. If you don't like racing in this weather then you may as well hang up the bike. b) This was the only race on today in the area. I'd guess if it was dry, we would have had closer to 150 starters rather than 81.

I was bloody cold by this stage, and shivered my way up to the change rooms in the local school, where I bumped into the Americans from the Cycling Center(tm) in Hertsberge. I'd actually interviewed a few of them last week for a feature, which I'll get round to one of these days. I said g'day to Bernard (the boss) and - feeling foolishly underprepared - asked to borrow some safety pins to pin on my number. No probs and I was very grateful for these small, but very necessary items.

I opted to wear the old blue woollen jersey with arm warmers, but no leg warmers. I put my faith in my Strength 3 warm up oil instead. How stupid am I? I should have worn two jerseys, but I wanted to keep one for the ride home, which I expected I would be doing fairly soon as I had no intention of lasting more than 3 laps in the race. I can train in cold and rain, but racing and cornering in it are generally out of my league. As a rule, I tend to corner as well as a 4 tonne truck, but I think I've improved a little after my experience on the Tour moto last year.

Feeling ridiculously underdressed, I ventured outside again, hopped on the bike and almost shuddered to death riding down to the start. Attempted to warm up, but that just made me colder. It was too late to put on my other jersey and leg warmers, so I just put on a rictus grin and bore it like the idiot I am.

I saw Miwako and Junko and a sightseeing friend of theirs (sorry, forgot her name) on the start line and they burst out laughing, not believing that I turned up in this weather to race. I explained to them that 3 laps would be good for me today, an hour at the most. But there was no time for chatting as the whistle blew and we were off.


Racing in Hooglede
© Miwako Sasaki


The course was just under 5 km, with about 10 corners a lap and an uphill finishing straight which kept going - even conveniently passing the change rooms at one point. There were two particularly nasty corners - less than 90 degrees, paved (not cobbled), and one of them had a round metal plate slap bang in the middle!! Argh! I only saw one crash on it though, which was amazing. My back wheel slipped on it at least three times when I pedalled too early out of the corner, but it was recoverable. Early on I was losing a lot of time sprinting out of those corners, which is typical for me. Good sprinting practice though.

I deliberately started at the back to stay out of trouble and not get in anyone's way. Sure there were strong crosswind sections in bits of it, but it was just as hard at the back as it was in the middle, and you didn't have to fight for your position :-) Also I didn't have to worry about missing the break, because by remaining at the back I was *guaranteed* to miss it! Takes all the pressure off, see?

Once we got going I didn't feel the cold any more, although the wind, rain, and the spray from everyone's wheels made it very difficult to see. It would have been worse with sunglasses on, as I don't have any clear lenses. I think I've removed all the grit from my eyes now.

As normal, it was hard going for the first few laps, and I was definitely suffering by the third lap up the finishing straight. But I was trying to enjoy it and relax, because racing in appalling conditions in Flanders, cheered on by two Japanese journalists and their friend and a grim, but appreciative crowd of West Flemings in cycling's heartland is really what its all about. As I said at the top, it's difficult to describe without doing it, but for a foreigner it's just an incredible experience. Wet and dirty too.

The first hour was quite hard, but somehow I had survived being shelled out the back of the now slightly reduced peloton. Whenever I had bothered to lift my eyes from the back wheel in front of me, I could see a long, thin line of riders, with a group always dangling 10-20 seconds off the front. I think this group actually stayed clear, although I deluded myself into thinking that our bunch was "it" and we were racing for first. Wow - the power of the mind! The truth of the matter was that the leaders were so far in front that we couldn't see them any more :-)

After about 50 km, I could see that things were slowing down enough and gaps were starting to appear in the bunch. This is generally a good time to move up and start to play a more interactive role in the race, instead of being a UN observer at the back (at least I didn't get shot at). By this stage the race for the first 23 was actually over, even though I didn't realise it. Our bunch had been reduced to about 40, and kept getting thinner as the laps wore on.


Getting dirtier in Hooglede
© Miwako Sasaki


The hands were a tad chilly by now, which made shifting even worse than before. My derailleur has all but packed it in so I have to shift twice, then back one to go down a gear. I'll get a "new" second hand one tomorrow. But for some reason I was still forcing myself to enjoy it, turning off the fear mechanism in order to get round these ridiculous corners.

Groups of four or five were going off the front at regular intervals, and a couple of times I put in a few solo efforts to bridge up to them. All that training trying to catch the Schelde bunch in the mornings because I'm always late paid off. I'd end up in a break that wouldn't work because that's the way racing goes here. But each time we were caught by fewer and fewer riders, until there were only about 20 of us left with 10 laps to go.

The race commissaire drove up and checked all our numbers, which means that our race was probably due to end soon. By this stage I'd sort of realised that we weren't actually racing for first. I missed the moves that actually got away in the next few laps, and went with all the ones that got caught. But that didn't really bother me.

With about 5 laps to go, I followed a guy who attacked in the crosswind on the second last straight, and he actually towed me just about all the way to the finish line without even looking round. Then he sprinted and I simply couldn't follow him. I'll catch him at the top of the hill, I thought. Then another couple of guys sprinted past me, and I looked up through the grit in my eyes and saw the finish line official waving the red flag for the end of the race. Oops. I "sprinted" - and I use the term in the loosest possible sense - and ended up fifth of what was left of our group. All up, 94 km at a "slow" average of 39 km/h, but I think there were...extenuating circumstances. Even the winner didn't average much more than 40, whereas the norm here is 43+.

For me, it was very cool to last that long, and I later discovered I finished 30th i.e. just in the money (although I ended up 10 euros down for the day due to train travel. LOL.). While waiting for my prize money at the Cafe Lanterne, I had a post-race coffee, mainly because it came with a small biscuit. The caffeine was wasted on me though. I even managed to explain in my rudimentary Dutch to one of the many old men in the cafe, where I lived, where I finished, and - most importantly - how much my bike weighed. I've said it before, but it's very fine to be in a country where cycling is so ingrained.

My plans of riding back to Gent (which had now been changed to riding back to Lichtervelde station) were derailed even further by Miwako and Junko and their friend, who insisted I throw the bike in Junko's car and go back to their place for a hot chocolate. Arrrrhhhhhh. Now that is an offer that no-one in their right mind would refuse, and even though I wasn't in my right mind, I still didn't refuse.

It turned out better than that. Not only was there a warm fire, hot chocolate and coffee, Junko whipped up a large batch of pannekoeken and a few toasted ham and cheese sandwiches...Arrrrhhhhhh. It *really* doesn't get any better than this!

After chatting for a couple of hours, we bundled back into Junko's car and they gave me a lift to the station. Very cool people.

There you have it, Jeff's Ultimate Bike Racing Experience (tm).

March 2004 update

[note: I'm still catching up!]

Warning, this email may contain traces of nuts.

Nutrition facts

Energy: 4 kcal
Protein: 1.2 g
Carbohydrates: Trace
Fat
Total: 3,000 kg
Saturated: Heaps
Calories from fat: You don't want to know
Sodium: -3.5 mg
Potassium: More than the sodium
Iron: Not very often
B group vitamins: A Berocca will do the trick
Vitamin C: Eat more fruit
Co-enzyme Q10: Hang on a minute...

Welcome to my March/April newsletter update thingy, which has to be sent here and now to avoid problems with time dilation. That Einstein chap has a lot to answer for I reckon.

For those of you who are new to this circular, the best way to read it is to press "Ctrl + A" on your keyboard, or select the entire body of the email with your mouse, and then press the "Del" key. This will ensure you get the best bits of the email, which are all hidden in the subject line. Alternatively, the Modular Format (tm) means that you can apply this technique to any section.


Bikes in Gent

Anyway I'm sittin' here, listening to some muzak, pining for my dear bicycle, which has been in a local bike shop for the last 8 days and four hours(!!!) and counting, all because I wanted to replace the headset! Problem was, when they tried to remove the stem, it broke and a bit got left in the fork. After several attempts at removing said bit, I now need a new fork and stem and headset. Grr. So I have been RATHER FRUSTRATED at not being able to really ride for the last eight days, four hours and five minutes (and counting). Especially because it has been absolutely stinking hot in Gent of late. A real scorcher today at 18 degrees which had me in out in shorts and t-shirt. There snow more snow.

I have been able to ride my MTB, which probably didn't expect it was going to be thrashed out to Oudenaarde and back every day. Unfortunately it is suffering under the load, and now needs a couple of spokes replacing (which I'll do once I get my real velocipede back). The seat is a few cm too low, but the saddle is rather comfy because it's about four times as big as my racing saddle.

Before this happened, I was actually getting to a reasonable level of fitness again. Oh well, I have time to get it back before May when I hope to do a spot of racing here in Belgiƫ.

Health: I haven't dropped dead yet so I think that's a positive sign (for me at least, maybe not for anyone else). I'm planning on getting another heart checkup sometime in April, but I'm fairly confident that I'm fully rid of the virus. I haven't been doing that many hard efforts recently anyway.

Work: Lots, as usual, and we're coming up to the April classics season now, which is quite intense. These are my favourite races of the year because they are so much less predictable than the big tours. You have to get everything right on the day to win, and with each classic measuring about 260 km, that's a big ask. Plus they're held on such excellent parcourses (forgive my Franglais). I'm looking forward to riding a chunk of the Ronde van Vlaanderen this Saturday, along with about 10,000 others, before Sunday's Main Event. Hope the weather stays as schitterend as it is now.

Movies: Helaas, there hasn't been a whole lotta opportunity for me to see the latest celluloid offerings. The first chance I got, I went to see Lord of the Rings: Return of the King, Gollum's Revenge Part IV, the Rise of the Orcs, because it is such a tops film. The week after they had a screening of the full LotR trilogy in one day(!) but I missed it because I had a slightly better offer of free food. I reckon it'd be fun to play an orc as an extra in one of those films, although it's probably better if you were one of the ones who didn't get deaded. The Nazgul were pretty cool too, especially the cry!! Very authentic, I thought. I wanna be a Witch King when I grow up.

I also saw Gothika on a whim and seven euros, but wasn't overly impressed. Scary, yes, but take away the sudden movements and loud noises and it didn't add up to much, in my biased opinion. Give me Scooby Doo 2 any day.

Herendethelessen: OK I'll keep it short today, as I'm busy planning my social schedule (chortle). Hope youse are all well, whichever country you happen to be in.

cheers,
Jeff

Citadelpark, Gent, February, 2004

Xmas 2003 update

[note: here's another of my previous email updates, specially formatted for this bilgespot]

G'day all from sunny Orstraylya, where I am spending November/December/January to get away from a fair chunk of the European winter. Pretty sneaky huh? I'm sure it'll catch up with me one day and I'll be posted to Antarctica to cover the cyclo-cross scene, and I'll end up living one long winter...I can just picture myself putting the booties on to go out in a -50 degree snowstorm for a quick spin across the Ross Ice Shelf and up Mt McClintock: "I'm going out. I may be some time."

I'm hoping that this email will reach you faster than a Christmas card, which - coming from me - may also be some time. So that means I can wish you all a very Merry Christmas in the language of your choice *before* December 25. Now that's what I call organised. And if you read this now, you get a Happy New Year thrown in absolutely free of charge, even though it's more than two weeks away. That's the power of the internet for you, bringing fast greetings to those who just can't wait. Book now for 2004.

That's the formal part of this Christmas letter done for, now to the more frivolous stuff. The format is quite modular so you can ignore the boringly titled sections and skip to the end where there's nothing remotely interesting.

What I did during the holidays

I took three weeks off at the beginning of December and used the time extremely wisely. The first week was spent in the company of my mother and great aunt cruising up to the Hunter Valley and beyond for several days of relative isolation (pardon the pun). No laptop, mobile didn't work, no TV to speak of and a lot of peace and quiet.


Truly, this is champagne comedy

Although I really like living in Belgium, I'm definitely appreciating Australia more when I come back home for these all too brief visits. We were only a few hundred kilometres away from Sydney, but most of the countryside was completely new to me. The first couple of days were spent at a nice little cottage in Sandy Hollow (which had a spa...), and I could ride down into the Wollemi National Park on a semi-flat tyre due to me not bringing a working pump. The roads were rough but the scenery was certainly worth it. Plus a winery or two.

The next couple of days were spent in another cottage near Ilford, which is between Mudgee and Lithgow. I had a great ride (still on a semi-flat tyre) out to Sofala and beyond, then back to Ilford and down into the Capertee Valley where I met up with Ma and Aunt Margaret at a friend's place in the valley. The ride was memorable and tres scenic, mainly due to the hills. There are lots in that area, and most of them are 4-5 km. At least I ended up at a much lower altitude than I started (cheating I know). Then we spent the afternoon watching a big storm roll across the Capertee Valley which was rather spectacular. I've attached a pic to illustrate.


The Capertee Valley

We headed back to Sydney via Mt Tomah, where we didn't see the botanical gardens due to the rain and fog, but had a really good lunch in the restaurant there. Definitely recommended! I've attached a pic of the sundial on Mt Tomah which wasn't being put to much use that day.


Mt. Tomah Botanic Gardens

Colourful Sydney racing identity report

While I certainly haven't reached (nor do I want to) the status of Dr. Bob Hampshire as the ultimate "colourful Sydney racing identity", it's hard to conceal the fact that I work for a particularly well known cycling website. I even have a jersey which reflects this, and if you look really really hard and can work out that I'm not a member of the Tasmanian Institute of Sport. We'll have a better Cyclingnews jersey soon. Anyway I just hope this doesn't lead to the excesses that Dr. Bob is so fondly remembered for. We'll see in 20 years or so...

I've actually been racing a fair bit since I got back - over 20 races in less than two months or about three times per week. They are mostly an hour or less, so recovery is not really a problem. I've been pleasantly surprised with the results: no wins, but 5 (or 8, if you ignore handicaps and just count A grade placings) second placings and a smattering of third placings. Not quite enough to break even on the race entry fees :-). But I've been able to consistently finish and factor in the Tuesday night races in A grade at Heffron Park, which have always been my nemesis. There was even a third place one week when not many people turned up :-)

To put this into context, I have to go back to the beginning of 1999 when I was able to finish more than one Tuesday in a row! Doing more racing in Belgium this year has certainly helped, and I also modified the October training plan to build up the "aerobic engine". I'm definitely happy with the results, and maybe I'll be able to convert one of these second places into a win. I'm always being beaten by the kiddies though! Even their restricted gears don't slow them down.

Fun stuff

The rest of the holidays have been spent doing fun things like tax, visiting the dentist and getting a slightly twisted pelvis straightened by a masseur and a physio, who are total geniuses I must say. The masseur just flicked parts of my feet and collarbone and lo! I was straight again. Then he started the massage. He's got a specially built metal cage so he can use some/all of his body weight to massage you. But he relied on his elbows when doing my iliotibial bands, which probably haven't been massaged for seven years or so. Those cyclists who've had this done to them know how painful this is, because their ITBs are so tight it's ridiculous. I have one more session with him.

More fun stuff

I'm recovering from an Overload of Fun after three birthday parties in three consecutive days. Fortunately there was cake at only one of them, otherwise my stomach would have rebelled. Thinks: must learn the concept of pacing oneself through slices of cake. Having cake for dinner is a no-no and can lead to Cake O.D., which can only be fixed by a lot of beer and a 150 km ride.

There is not much to report on the subject of movie reviews, as I've only seen a couple of flicks since I got back. This is probably a good thing because the movies in question were Matrix Revolutions and Kill Bill (Vol. 1). I had to see the former because I've already seen the first two and this one does at least round off the plot. It gets a bonus point for being filmed in Sydney: the final scene is in the Botanic Gardens, which is kind of a weird way to finish off a three part blockbuster but at least it's something different. I won't give away the rest of the plot because I can't really remember it that well, but there was a lot of action/fighting/martial arts/biff/bang/pow/death stuff which will please the connoisseurs of the genre.

I didn't really know what to expect with Quentin Tarantino's latest offering, Kill Bill (Vol. 1), which starred Uma Thurman wielding a very sharp samurai sword. But that alone was enough to get me to spend my hard earned $14.00 on going to see it. For more bonus points, it had Lucy Liu, Darryl Hannah, Vivica A. Fox as members of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad, David Carradine's voice as Bill, and a very cool intro song (Bang Bang/Nancy Sinatra). I suspect there was rather a lot of tomato sauce used during the filming, as this flick is even *more* violent and slightly less tasteful than Pulp Fiction. If you go slightly queasy at the sight of a rare steak then this is a film for laying down and avoiding.

Other than that it was quite well done, and any Tarantino fan will like it. There is a Vol. 2 to be released early next year, which will conclude it. The plot is fairly comic book in style and involves The Bride (Uma Thurman) carrying a bit of a grudge against her former boss, Bill, who together with members of the Deadly Viper Assasination Squad, tried to kill her on her wedding day. She eventually wakes up from her coma and is rather annoyed at said squad members. Understandable really.

One day I'll see a movie that doesn't involve excessive amounts of violence, but next up will be the Lord of the Rings finale, so I think that might contain a bit of sword action. I hope they don't change too many important parts of the plot for no reason. In the book there was no battle detailed in Osgiliath, dammit!

Speaking of books, I've read the latest and biggest Harry Potter (Order of the Phoenix) and quite enjoyed it. I had to re-read the two preceding books to refresh my memory of who all the characters were and which side they were on but I think I'm up to date now and able to hold my own in any Harry Potter related conversation with the kiddies. I've also been working my way through more of Terry Pratchett's Discworld series which is very funny, and any other books that happen to come my way.

The last paragraph

If you've read this far then your boss is probably getting annoyed by now. If you haven't read this far, or have taken advantage of the modular format and ignored most of this email, then you are to be highly commended!

Love to all,

Jeff

Stir Fry and Bookies

[note: I'm gunna put some of my previous email updates on this bilgespot]

Hello all,

Sorry it's been a while (maybe that's a good thing) but here it is, the latest, and probably the most incoherent update of them all!! If you've got an email client worth its salt, you will see I have attached two photos in this latest update. That's right, two photos! They are completely free, and come with a 30 day money back guarantee. If you are unsatisfied with the photos, then please send the unused portion, complete with wrapper, to Gent, Belgium. They will be dealt with accordingly...


I can't believe people invested money in me

Moron the photos. The first, entitled "bookiessmall.jpg" is not a picture of 4 foot Belgian bookmakers. Oh no, it's far more serious than that. It was taken by my partner in crime, Chris Henry, at a race in Wondelgem in August. Or September. I forget which. Wondelgem is a suburb in Gent, and I for one find it very cool that they can close off minor arterial roads to hold a bike race around a leafy city suburb. The course is only 5.5 km and I didn't do very well, but apparently some people thought I would by the looks of the attached photo.

If you look *really* closely, you can see my name on the blackboard, third from the bottom. This (I believe) means that the local bookmaker has actually given me odds in this race, a very foolish idea. There are three numbers, and I hope I don't get this all wrong, but the first is my race number (23), the second is what place I'm expected to finish (16th, ho ho ho), and the third is how many people have bet on me to finish in that place (4). That's right, four people actually lost money by betting on me in that race, and probably any other race because I'll always finish somewhere between 20th and 30th. The funny thing is that you can actually bet on riders as the race progresses i.e. when the winning break forms on the third lap. But I think the money that you can win is divided by the number of people that have made that bet. Maybe.

Whatever happens, I'm sure the bookies clean up. I find it strange though, because Belgian kermesses are the most fixed things in the world. If you're ever going to bet on a kermesse, bet on the best local rider, because he'll nearly always win after buying off the other riders in the race.

Despite the obvious lack of purity in this system, it seems to work and it adds to the atmosphere of the race, which is one reason why Belgian races are so cool. The other is that people actually come to watch them for fun and the opportunity to drink a lot of the FINEST QUALITY Belgian beer. So not only are you racing for your own enjoyment, you're also providing other folk with part of their entertainment for the afternoon. So my twisted logic says I'm actually helping others and that's good enough for me.


Clearly, I need a bigger frying pan.

And now we come to the second photo, which if you look carefully appears to be a lot of raw cabbage in an unsuitable frying pan. It appears to be this because in fact - that's *exactly* what it is!!

I bought this cabbage, see, and I thought it would be a handy garnish to a stir fry, see. Lacking het wok, I thought I could do it in my frying pan, and that was my fatal mistake... I prepared a few other things that I found in my fridge that resembled vegetables, and it was going ok: I had it all under control, simmering away...

Then I brought forth the cabbage, which I chopped in half, because you don't need a *whole* cabbage for a bloody stir fry! It seemed to be a lot, but I ploughed on until it was all chopped, coarsely mind you. It was when I started to pile it on top of the other semi-reduced veggies and stuff that I realised there was a problem. Clearly I had prepared the right amount of cabbage, but the frying pan was too small!!!

Oh no. What to do?

There was only one solution. Turn up the heat to max. and squish it all down with a lid. See, a cabbage is mostly water, so when you heat it to white hot, it loses its shape and somehow everything collapses into the frying pan black hole. This is fundamental proof that you can apply astronomy to cooking. Genius as he was, Stephen Hawking never made *that* connection. Ha!

The end result was a culinary masterpiece, and instead of eating it I decided to frame it, then eat it. But it wasn't quite bad enough to throw into the hazardous waste bins that double as garbage bins in my flat (mum can verify this).

Speaking of which, mum managed to visit me three(!) times during July which I was particularly impressed by. I hope she didn't get food poisoning while here. For some reason she insisted on doing the cooking...

Other news: The Vuelta a EspaƱa (Tour of Spain) is over and that's a good thing. The third three week tour of the year is always tough. Now just the world championships plus two world cup races (all in the next couple of weeks) and that'll be it for the season and I can go home to Real Sun(tm). I'm outta here on October 30 or 31 so it'll be good to get back to Oz and catch up with (most of) youse for a bit. Will be back here in 2004 from late January methinks.

Finally (jeez this is already 1000 words), a big congrats to those of you who are getting married (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!). Definitely looking forward to being there when that happens!

Omigod, somehow the spell chekcer didn't pick up anything. Must send.

cheers,
Jeff
p.s. Bruce Almighty was funnier than I thought it would be. That's a worry.

Piccies

I have found piccies and stuff. Prepare to be amazed by my photo editing qualities. None of these photogs were taken by me, because that would be rather tricky, non? I'll add more when I can unearth them.


Me on the left with Leigh Palmer (TEAM CN.COM) during a
wet, early season recon of certain cobbled climbs in Belgium.
Photo © Robbie Williams (not that one)



Racing in Wondelgem in 2003
Photo © Chris Henry

Insert coin

Hello all,

Rather than messing around with HTML and creating my own website, I have decided to take the easy option and do a blog instead. Inspired by such works of art as hincapie.blogspot.com, I believe that the sky's the limit. Or not.

Hopefully I can chuck pics and stuff in here [Thinks: must find pics and stuff]. I could even create an online dairy that no-one will milk or read. Wot larx.

This is going to be a short first post, but it's better than the last post because it's not played on a trumpet. ADVANCE WARNING: All posts will be as incoherent as this one. But some may not be.

It's late and I'm sick with the dreaded lurgi so adios.