Jeff Jones's bilgespot.com: The Wedding

Just about married
© Jeff Jones

Typing this at 3:40am, Sydney time, I realise I have the dubious pleasure of being jetlagged twice in one week, thanks to a necessary but brief trip to Australia. Necessary because it was Lucy and Pete's much anticipated wedding, and there was no way I was gunna miss that. Brief because I was only down under for a week. But in that space of time (combining dimensions there), I caught up with most friends and relations and even became a brother-in-law. Woohoo!

The wedding was months in the planning and it was worth it. It was a beautiful sunny Sydney day, and you couldn't have asked for better weather. But we did anyway.

The ceremony was a simple but formal one in the Redfern registry office. It was quite cool when L+P were pronounced "man and wife"! I witnessed it along with Pete's bro Murray, who wore his kilt for the occasion and was unfortunately the only representative of his family who made it out from the UK. The only minor hitch (joke) was waiting for our silver service cabs not to turn up afterwards. We eventually found our own. In the meantime, we could soak up the ambience of the methadone clinic as we stood on Regent Street in our finery, being admired by passers by.

The pics were taken in Petersham Park by Carmen, our professional and friendly photographer. She didn't make the newlyweds do silly things like peep out from behind trees, so I would recommend her for future engagements. We were all starving by the time she finished, and retired to Ma and Pa's for Greek-style comestibles.

The main event was the evening bash at the Park Hyatt in The Rocks. It affords 270° views of the Harbour Bridge, Opera House, Circular Quay and city skyline. It can afford this because rooms are $600 a night. They're noice though.

We had 60 people on one covered rooftop, and fortunately no-one fell off. I was asked to MC for the occasion, which meant I could draw on all my experience in the area. This equated to zero, so I hope it didn't show too much. Dad's speech was excellent and very well received, while Lucy, Pete and Karin also gave some good words.

After the speeches, we got stuck into the food. The wedding cake was of the chocolate mud variety and I highly approved of this.

Naturally, Lucy and Pete were the stars of the night and they deserved it after being married and all. They cracked in the end and went to bed, while a few of us, including a large vase of flowers, retired to the downstairs lounge for some wind-down drinks, eventually making it home.

It was a grand day and night and one that will definitely go down in the family record books.

Alas, the next day I was back on the plane to London. I passed the time by getting two hours sleep, watching four movies (Stranger Than Fiction (quirkily funny), Deja Vu (OK-ish in a 5/10 sort of way), Letters from Iwo Jima (good) and The Page Turner (loved it)), getting annoyed with the couple next to me on the Sydney-Bangkok leg, and drinking Qantas coffee, which has been rated by the Welsh as being some of the best in the world. It's right up there with Thai coffee.

We arrived in London at 7am and it was cloudy and wet. "Clearly, this is London," I thought, remembering the toucan's flight home in Colonel Pewter. And yes, it took an hour to get our baggage back from the baggage retrieval system that causes so much concern in Heathrow...