The mighty Thames. If you look to the right, you will get an idea of what a National Cycle Route is like. Bikes aren't allowed on this bit, but you get the idea.© Jeff Jones
In the almost four weeks that I have been in the UK, I have done more of what I would term off-road riding than I have done in six years of living in Belgium. It's quite tantalising when you see signs pointing to a bike route that will take you off the A4. And you follow them down some quiet country roads until you reach an impasse in the form of a muddy field. But no, there is a sign! Just go through the gate, and it will hook up to another quiet road soon enough.
Or not.
You have to keep going because you are too stubborn to turn back, and decide that it will cost you too much time anyway. Even though it won't. Take it from me, who is very stubborn when it comes to riding: You should always turn back.
Oxfod
It was in this manner that I came to Oxford for a lightning visit to Cousin Ant last weekend. Lucy and Pete were there for the afternoon, and a good time was definitely had. Ant lives in University College where he's doing an undergrad law degree. He's funding it through dealing in human kidneys, after deciding that the market wasn't ready for floating himself on the futures exchange. That's just a bit of background for those unfamiliar with the slightly shady dealings of the Jones clan.
We started in The Bear, then moved onto the Head of the River, taking in the various sights of Oxford as we went. One of these was a film crew setting up near the Radcliffe Camera. And although the Inspector Morse spinoff series Lewis is often filmed in Oxford, it appears it wasn't them. Pete spotted "The Bourne Ultimatum" somewhere, but no sign of Matt. Damon. We spent the rest of Saturday and pretty much all of Sunday morning unsuccessfully trying to get in a crowd scene, while still failing to spot Matt. Damon.
Ant's street© Jeff Jones
The Bear, where we started our tour of Oxford© Jeff Jones
The Radcliffe Camera. It's slightly unwieldy for use in close-ups.© Jeff Jones
Slightly to the right of the Radcliffe Camera© Jeff Jones
Filming of the Bourne Ultimatum in Oxford. Can you spot Matt. Damon?© Jeff Jones
This lawn in Trinity College was verboden.© Jeff Jones
Rad colours© Jeff Jones
Oxfod© Jeff Jones
The Bridge of Sighs. Oxford shamelessly plagarised this from the Italian version.© Jeff Jones
Lucy trying to take a pic of me with her Radcliffe camera phone. Pete watches with bemused interest.© Jeff Jones
The Bodleian. Jeez I hope I spelled that right.© Jeff Jones
Luce/Pete went orf back to London on the Oxford tube. These things run every 10 or 15 minutes, so it's an easy way to get back to the big smoke. Ant and I were left to our own devices, which led to a fine, but occasionally confusing repast at a Tapas restaurant, followed by a pub crawl. We tried the Lamb and Fiddle, but it was too full, so we moved onto the Turf, which has got to be one of the most convoluted pubs in Oxford. I pity the staff who had to trail from building to building to get clean glasses. We sat outside and had some lovely flat, warm cider.
We next paid a visit to the Turl, which wasn't as nice as the Turf, despite its semi-Tudor decor. But it had the advantage of having available indoor seating, so we had a drink there. The night was drawing on, so we hit the Bear for one for the road, and Ant had a whiskey that looked, smelled and tasted suspiciously like cognac.
My kingdom for a coffee
The next morning, we went in search of England's specialty - caffeinated coffee. Ant assured me that there was a place that served drinkable stuff next to one of the churches. While we waited for it to open, I got to see the dining hall of University College. Very cool, although the massive portrait of Bob Hawke seemed slightly out of place. As did the left over Ahmed's chips 'n cheese in the bizarre memorial immortalising Percy Bysshe Shelley.
The view from Ant's window© Jeff Jones
University College dining call. Cue Harry Potter music.© Jeff Jones
What the? R.J. Hawke's portrait graces Uni College dining hall.© Jeff Jones
The Shelley Memorial, with a box of Ahmed's chips 'n cheese as a nice counterpoint.© Jeff Jones
The appropriately named Mitre demonstrates the finest in British architecture.© Jeff Jones
We made it to the church café, to be greeted with a wooden tray painted, "Sorry, we are closed today. We will reopen tomorrow." Clearly, keeping customers away was an important business strategy, because it was in fact open. We braved the door and were reassured to find someone serving there, ready to spring into action. We ordered omelettes, only to be told that the cook wasn't coming in today, so omelettes - and all hot food for that matter - were off. We made do with (thankfully) decent coffee and freshly refrigerated cakes. It was just the thing for riding five hours home into a headwind.
I started off badly, following the path along the Thames which I'd missed the previous day. It was scenic, but basically a narrow mud track with lots of walkers/runners. Next time I'll stick to the road. I got lost somewhere near Swindon and finished up taking the A4 back to Bath because it was the quickest way home. Made it as it was getting dark at 4:30...
Cousin Ant on home turf© Jeff Jones
General business
Seeing as my flatmate is returning to Oz in two weeks, I have been in flat-hunting mode again. I found a noice place on the Walcot Pde (a.k.a. the A4) which is remarkably quiet. It's furnished and big enough, so it'll do nicely. I considered a lower basement studio flat in The Circus (location x 3), but although it was really nicely done up, it was like a goddamn dungeon! The ceilings were just low enough that I had to stoop to avoid lacerations to the top of my head from the light fittings. I think the novelty of living in the Circus would have worn off rather quickly.
In other fascinating news, the official Future pub is called The Lounge. It's an overpriced cocktail bar and there are many other places in Bath that are as nice, have space, and are reasonably priced. But I guess they serve Leffe, albeit in Nastro Azzurro glasses. A lot of Leffes later, 7pm suddenly became 11:30pm and a good time was had by all, again. That is the important thing, innit?
Footnote: According to a Bath local, "Bath" is pronounced to rhyme with "Barf".
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